New School

Dear parents,

There is this new school on 30 Floorplate Avenue, Ittoqqortoormiit Greenland.

We were wondering if you want your child to go there. Here are some of the things that make this school better than most schools.

1. We serve (extra smelly) stink bugs for lunch every day.
2. Our school provides childcare 24/7 and we tell the children never to go to sleep.
3. We make sure the children are extra dirty before sending them home in their own private helicopter (that they pilot themselves).
4. All of the teachers are not trained, especially the English teachers who will most probably mix English up with Hieroglyphics.
5. Our school takes 37 years to complete, with all the extra learning about how to determine what color an orange is.

We hope you will sign your child up for this (oh, and by the way, the school costs 13 Billion USD) and this will be a breathtaking experience for you and your child.

See you at our adult cream pie throwing contest,

The Magnificent School