The story of jobs and fatherhood
03/05
Alone. In my office. Sending an email to my boss. He quickly replies, “you cannot do that.” I want to quit my job. It’s hours of sitting alone, in the same boring office day after day. Not one book, not one shelf. A computer, a chair, a ceiling and that’s it. Not even a carpet or a rug. My boss is so stingy and thinks he is the only person in the world, except that is not true. Terrible work hours. Boss thinks he can tell me what to do like I have no feelings. He’s wrong. My hours are 8 to 6 every day all day. Salary low. I feel enslaved. He won’t even let me quit my job. He doesn’t understand that I am a person with feelings too. Not just his worker.
03/06
Problem is, I have no co-workers to talk to about this. Me alone all day every day, with my boss in an office that to me, looks like a palace. Good thing though, I got my boss to let me quit my job. I quit my job but now I am starting to regret it. I hate hours of interviews. I tried to get back into the company but boss told me I can’t. I made my final decision. And this is the only time when I have even half agreed with my boss.
03/07
First day of job hunting. Tiring. Signed up for one interview, did it, and turns out, they need someone who went to college. I did go to college, a good one. But they needed someone who used to work at a good company, and my company is the world #1 worst company according to the Guiness Book of Records. But who would put that entry in? My boss probably. He is evil and doesn’t even want a company. But his boss made him, and his boss didn’t even want to ask him, but his boss made him. So I think there is some good in him somewhere, but what shows is only gruffness and meanness. If there’s one word I would not use to describe him it would be kind. He is quite the opposite in fact. In the Guiness Book of World Records he won Meanest Person in the World. Who put him there? Himself probably. It seems he wants anything but a good reputation opposed to me, who would do anything to get worldwide recognition.
03/08
Finally got a job that works for me today. It is even worse than my old one. Making tye-dyed shirts for 2 year olds and there are no vacations. I think I’m gonna quit on the first day.
03/09
First day of new job. Turns out to be better than I expected. I made friends with my fellow workers, and at least we could see color, whereas at my old job, everything was stained brown from human waste. Here everything is new, there are comfortable chairs, and some decent food, whereas at my old job we would eat food that people had already vomited up. I got home (not used to good work hours) and arrived to see an email from my boss. Asked for me to come back to his company. Told him not for a million dollars, and that got ‘im furious. You should have seen the email. All caps, in giant letters, you MUST come back to the company. Told ‘im no yet again, and he caved in. Good thing he did, or else I’d never have peace again in my life. Well, at least my new job is decent.
03/10
Decided to marry my girlfriend except I don’t know what to say to her. Just as I was thinking about it, my smartphone went ding, and I checked my email. It was from that tye-dye clothing company. Said I’m fired. Oh great. It’s my second day of work at the company and I’m already laid off. And that means one thing: more job hunting.
03/11
Realized I needed to get more training if I wanted a good job so I decided to become a geriatrician. So I went to medical school.
03/12
Those 4 years of medical school felt more like four millenniums. I wanted a fellowship so I went for my fellowship at NYU. The fellowship director said her name was Dr. Blachman. Said she’d apply me. Asked me what medical school I went to and I replied with the name of the best medical school in the land and showed her diploma. Soon I was a doctor but it turned out I don’t like old people. All that training for nothing! More job hunting.
03/13
Went to law school. Became a lawyer. I liked that job, and guess what, that time, they didn’t fire me. They gave me good pay, but office hours weren’t great. I finally found out how to approach my girlfriend.
05/22
I was a father! It felt like someone had given me one hundred job options at once. I loved playing with my child, and soon, I had another, and that one had a brother. I couldn’t believe how my life had changed from horrible bosses to having a child and a perfect life. I loved it when my children grew to actually doing things and I told them how I had a terrible life, and then somehow, almost like magic, it completely became the opposite. I’m definitely a better writer than I was before, I guess with all of that schooling. Well, that is the crazy mind blowing story of my life in about a decade. I can still picture sitting in that chair but I choose not to. I have learned a big lesson. Not to think something is going to be terrible without proof.
